Feel!

Humans can experience a myriad set of emotions. Everyone has a unique combination of what they want, their belief system and what they fear – all this make up the character of an individual. It is interesting that how in spite of people having similar choices in what they like or dislike, is not absolute of the fact that they will have identical thought processes. This majorly pertains to as to how they had had an experience of it in their course of life. Little occurrences tend to impact us in ways we fail to realize and somehow constitute our psyche.

Fear has always driven us into making or not making certain choices in life. The fear of failing for example has hindered me from being more outgoing, has diverted my mind into taking decisions that are not risky and have lesser chances of backfiring. I have never taken part in any solo competitions till date. A mixture of self-doubt, social anxiety and fear of failure has led me into believing that I am not good enough, hence it has barred me from accomplishments.

Liking and loving may seem so closely knit however, we cannot pass them off as the same feeling. I like listening to music and reading in my time of leisure which enriches me, educates me and makes me aware of my surroundings. But I love dancing. I put in conscious effort in learning more about by browsing, attending dance classes and workshops. This too has helped me focus on myself, my passion and encouraged me to anchor myself towards achieving a goal.  

Hate is a big word to apply to anything that one borderline dislikes. So, hatred applies to something one utterly detests. In my case, I really cannot put a finger on something I hate but I can surely say that pretention is one thing I loathe. All of us striving behind facades, speaking ill of others behind their backs and then being all flowery with them in their presence. It is very important to be truthful at least to yourself. One may suffer from identity crisis if this continuous process of lying to oneself goes on incessantly.

Since everything depends on the perspectives each one forms in their heads, agreeing and disagreeing is just a matter of debate. We have established, in this world, that morality too is subjective and there cannot be an ultimate truth or code of morals. Something that may come off to me as right, may not hold the same value for many others. So, I agree to matters that seem correct to me. I agree to justice, I agree to a government that does not divide the country into communal fragments and gives hope to its people. On the contrary, I disagree with everything that goes against that, I disagree to the fact that people can be so selfish that they do not feel the need to clarify their actions. I disagree with ones claiming that they owe their parents nothing and it was their responsibility to bring them up. As much as I agree that it must be their responsibility, I cannot emphasize more on the fact that being ungrateful to your parents by passing it off as a job that every parent has to do, is the highest level of thanklessness. I disagree with people who think otherwise.

I want a lot many things. Making my parents proud and happy tops the list. I want to work for a cause that will drive the world into a better place. This may sound a bit too righteous and far-fetched but just doing our own bit helps a lot in building something worthwhile. If we cannot do anything while in this world, I do not see why we should blame others for our failures. I want to land up a good job so that I can make my parents feel at peace and gather enough means to actually be able to contribute towards the betterment of anyone who needs help. I would also want, at a personal level, to be more confident. It may feel very emancipated, if even after knowing what I am talking about, to actually have the courage to speak on it. On similar lines, I wish I had all the means to do what I want. I wish I could go back to my childhood to a simpler time. Sometimes I also wish the world was not so competitive that we had to stay away from our loved ones in order to accomplish goals in life. What is the use of leaving behind the ones you love, with the ambition of being successful and hoping you will make them proud when you know that your presence would have made them feel much better than any other achievements in life?  

Among the few things what I would never want is hurting someone so badly that it comes back to me. I believe in karma, have faced its consequences and never again. It is self-absorbing in some sense; however, it works both ways. Do no harm and wish that no harm should be inflicted on you, but always be prepared for it. I would never want people to misunderstand me or do not believe me if I am trying my best to explain the truth. Therefore, I have always tried to be as good to people as I can be.

Belief, hope, expectation, dreams and everything related to it is a matter of longing, it is unknown and hardly promising. If I am asked of what I believe in, I would say I believe in a world that will co-live peacefully among nature. Marx and many other philosophers saw this as an attainable environment. After reading them, I kind of feel that the world does not have to be a cruel place with authorities sucking on people working under them. I believe that there is good in every person, it just does not surface because of various traumas they might have gone through, because of what society expects out of them and lastly because they do not want to let their guard down. I believe every person should be given their due credit and badmouthing for the sake of it has never done any good to anyone, it shows the hollowness of the within. All these ideas have made me hopeful for future, which drives me to work better, put in more effort in whatever I am embarking on.